Average Psychopathic Lovers
by TrappedLittlEm
Summary: A little bit of Harley/Joker banter, for pure love of the characters and their relationship. Ladieesss and gentleemen. A little delve into the lives and minds of a sinister couple. Little snippets. No plot. H/J one shots bundled together. x
1. When the bat is dead sweetie

**_Oh I do so love a bit of banter betweeeen couples. This is my very own little one shot. Tell me what you guys think. [LittlEm]_**

**Harley P.O.V**

"_Harley Harley Harley_… My little birdie _what_ am I going to do with you?"  
His voice was harsh to my ear as his grip tightened around my throat, my body pinned to the wall as he strangled me. Mister J loved me, no doubt about that- he just had different ways of showing it. I understood my baby; he's just misunderstood as all. And this is one of his more misunderstood moments…  
My legs shook in the air, kicking out in order to try and release myself from his tight grip- god had he gotten stronger?

Joker P.O.V

The adrenaline had a funny, funny way of kicking in. A high – my senses alert, my head swirling in euphoria of tortured souls that were so much weaker than I. They played my game and as usual got tricked. Can't they just take my little jokes? And as for Harley…

I held her against the wall, veins in the back of my hand visible with the strong, unyielding grip with which I kept her there. Her body quivered and shook at the mixture of my words and my strength.

I could feel a laugh rising, an insane chuckle with hints of my suppressed anger apparent. She'd have to learn to obey me before she received any hint of this so-called affection, love. Ugh. What a word. Look where it got me – or to be quiiiite frank, where it didn't get me.

"Oh Harley-girl. I _like_ it when you struggle like that! You're so _forceful!"_

I threw her to the floor with a surge of power in a fit of aggression.

**Harley P.O.V**

"Come on Harley – don't you want me to put a_ smile _on that face?" He stroked a gloved hand through the matted green hair on his face as he licked his lips at me… absentmindedly stroking the scars that ran up his cheeks.  
' I told you birdie, not to do anything without _my_ say so… why would you do it huuuuh? Just not playing the game kitten…'  
' Oh Mistaa J, please forgive me… You know I just wanna do the best that I can do for you…I would do anything and everything'

I could hear my voice turning into desperate pleas as my eyes searched his for some kind of sign as to what he was thinking- god I used to able to read people, it was part of my job…But Mistaa J still eluded me.

**Joker P.O.V**

I knelt beside her, my hand absent-mindedly brushing the scar that ran across the lower part of my face. I took a long look at _her_ – so … perfect? No, normal. Hm. What _does_ that even mean? Normal? Is normal what they call those fools that keep saying I pop up like a broken jack-in-the-box, like a misplaced punch line? Oh yes, normality must be so much fun. Not knowing what to do in chaos. Crying at the sound of me and running at the sight of me. _Weak._

I realised I was scowling lightly.

"Murder." I said without warnings, seeing no change in her expression, save a few added blinks of realisation. She knew I couldn't hurt her when she was so valuable to my plans, and I think now she understood that if we were to have time for … a little fun later… she'd have to apply her share of the work.

I couldn't wait to hear the screaming and crying of my victims, then the screaming of her.

I slipped my gloves on, then stroked down her cheek – all the way to her neck. There were angry, red marks.

"That looks nasty kitten. Does it hurt?"

We stand and I place a finger to her lips, hushing her before she can reply.

"When Batman is no longer knockin' …" I paused, smirking at the thought of his spectacular demise.

"When Batman is no longer knockin', we'll have all the time in the world sweetie-pie. Just you… and me."

**Harley P.O.V**

The only way to get anything… sexually from my darlin' Mr J- is to wait until a homicide… A killing, or after he's had a sudden thought of how to kill Batman. Fleeting moments, which I have to seize. I could see his eyes glimmering the way they do only when he's thinking of killing, getting off on the thought of Batman's demise.

" Well why don't we pretend like we have all the time in the world now Mistaa J"  
Biting my lip hard in the corner, in order to cause a little blood to come through the skin. I could see his eyes lighting up as he moved both hands around behind him. Holding himself there as he did when he knew he wanted a touch- or taste. The blood was what enticed him to me. I could feel my eyes lighting up as he took a step closer to me.  
"You seem to have a little blood on your lip _Haaarrley_…"  
He licked his lips quickly, almost savouring the taste of his own lips. I arched my eyebrow as I stepped forward, closing the gap between us.  
" You could get it off me Mistaa J- "

Before I had a chance to finish the last syllable he was on me, his hands unclasped from behind him, holding my neck up as he kissed my mouth hard, his tongue exploring my lips too. Tasting the blood, before quickly tossing me backwards causing me to lose my balance. He licks his lips again and moaned a little…  
" Mm, mm, _de-lic-ious'_


	2. Oh Harley i like you bad

**Just a little bit of Harley thought as the Joker talks to her- this entire fanfiction will not be whole but little delves into the mind and life of Harley and Joker dear. Harley has just followed Joker to the scene of a crime he is about to commit after him telling her not too follow. Enjoy-comment- review- request- etc. [LittlEm]**

" I don't think you understand the _ruuulllessss _of the game kitten…" The harsh growl of the word rules resounded in my ears as he pressed the barrel of the gun to my head. His gloved hand gripping the gun so tight I could have sworn his hands were about to bulge through the gloves. Removing his left hand from his pocket he moved the blonde hairs that had fallen over my face in the time it had taken him to throw me to the wall.

"You're a pretty birdie _Harrrleyy_, but'chaa gotta learn how to play by the rules…"  
Suddenly the hand that was twirling a piece of my blonde hair skittered to my waist and pushed me harder to the wall as his face came down in a flash next to mine- the gun tight to my temple.

"…_you think you can do that kitten_?"  
That harsh, sultry whisper slipped into me and I could barely breathe for how tight Mistaa J was to me, how weak his voice made me.  
"Of course baby, anything you want Mistaa J… I'll be a good girl, I'll play by your rules…"

God I'd almost said _the _rules instead of_ his _rules and that gun would've blasted me through the bricks in seconds…

" Oh Harley Harley _Harrrleyy_…" He slowly slipped his face to mine and put his free left hand on my neck. His warm hot breathing on my mouth as he spoke- oh my god his eyes…  
"… I didn't say anything about being a good girl… I _liiike_ you bad…"


	3. Not quiteee yet birdie

**Enjoy another little segment of their wonderous life- this time from a pure Joker p.o.v. Thank you for all the lovely feedback guys. Keep reading, reviewing, favourite and giving me comments. As always. Much love. [LittlEm]**

Euphoria is the only plausible way to describe the sensation. My body was buzzing and whirring and completely alert- my senses alive and sensitive. Sitting alone in the room where I sit and wait for something to hit, I can't help but lick my lips and taste my scars that are on my skin. The marks that scare, that terrifies and intrigues. Nobody can explain why anyone would willingly do this. Did I do it willingly? Was there a hand forcing the blade? I could feel the laugh rising through my body before it exploded through me- laughing to myself and at the thoughts that collided in my head.

Was everyone as stupid as they seemed? Could nobody _really_ see what I saw?

Snapping the switchblade I thought and pondered and laughed for longer than I had anticipated. Nicking slightly at my gloves- taking away the purple to reveal the flesh underneath the purple.  
My high subsided as _she _walked through the door. Tilting my head to the side- my lopsided smile on as I watched her move towards the table in the room. That leather suit looked too _dieeee _for. But she knew that already. I'd never give her that satisfaction of knowing- why should I?

I couldn't stop thinking, questioning.  
I raced over to her and lifted her up by her neck, holding her to the wall with my body- all my weight held to her as I slipped the switchblade down her cheek and the side of her neck. Those eyes of hers widened- like they do when you sense fear, danger, surprise…

"You underst_aaa_nd… don't'cha _Harley giirrrll… _My little _birdieee _understands me… not like those crazies out there… You understand me _Harleyyy?"_

She tried to speak but my hand is too tight round her throat that she chokes on her words, ooh I love it… Little Harley wants to speak to me but I choke her up….  
A slight nod appears- not too drastic or she knows the blade my slip, and I don't wanna hurt that pretty neck… not _quiteee_ yet…


	4. He does love me huh?

**Another little snippet. Inside Harley's mind after the Joker has left her at their hideout, apparently after messing up a set-up for a new scheme he has concocted. Review, Comment, Etc. [LittlEm]**

He's had me tied to the wall for god knows how long now- I must have done something wrong, something to upset my poor puddin'… But I just don't know what.

I mean I'm sure I followed what he told me to do- step by step, down to the last little wire attachment with the bomb.  
Where did I slip up?

I mean he's beaten me before when I've got something wrong, I mean I deserve it don't I? I did get it wrong after all.

Hm, _what did I do this time_?

I think it's gotta be getting onto maybe the third day now… he had a new scheme starting- I mean that is what I was setting up for and he just left- leaving me tied to a wall, chained in fact… just left to struggle against my bonds.

I really didn't think about it when he was coming towards me- I was thinkin' about how happy he'd be with me that I'd done something good.  
He smoothed my hair off my face and was leading me back against the wall- it was only when I felt the clasps around my wrist that I clicked something was wrong.

I love Mistaa J and I always wanna make him happy- I'll do anything for that. This is one of his odd ways of showing he cares- he's making me see how I've gotta do better.  
I can hear him now

"you've gotta do better _Harrleeyy… _Show me that perfect girl inside you…"

Yeah, that's it. It's his way of protecting me from me, making me a better person.  
God- he does love me _huh_?


	5. You've gotta learn to trust me kitten

**Another little segment of the whirlwind catastrophe that is the relationship between Harley and the Joker. This time out planting a BatTrap...Enjoy my little fiends. [LittlEm]**

"Come ooon Harley…_Hurrrry_ up or the Bat will be here and nothing will be done…"

Harley had been rushing around for the past twenty minute placing down wires- covering them- then replacing them when The Joker had told her that she had done it wrong. But he had no physically intervened. Only _told _her that she was doing it all wrong.

Harley could feel the tiredness creeping on her from running about non-stop. Mistaa J had woken her up only minutes before he had expected her to leave at 3am after deciding it would be fun to finally give into lust and fuck her all night. Harley had been tied up and he had gone at her for hours- exhausting her body and making her ache.

Yet he seemed full of energy enough to shout at her, yet not lend a hand.

"You _know puddin' _you could help me out…"

She had chosen to use her seductive tone, lowering her voice and looking up at him with her big eyes. There had to be some kind of give.

"Harleeey girl…if you don't do things on your own…you'll never learn…now_**hurry **__up!"_

Harley turned back to the wires and finalised the placed, checking the fuse and the hidden explosives all around the room in their present boxes. The teddy in the corner of the room loaded with TNT. The pile of colourfully wrapped presents full of the same TNT that was hidden in the teddy were placed in the corner of the room. Each box and present with wires and fuses hidden under carpets and articles of furniture in the room, carefully placed by Harley.

After five more minutes spent checking Harley turned to The Joker with a big smile on her face only to see him scowling at her.

"Harley daaarlin' you really do need to focuus more…this could have been done five minutes ago…"

Her heart sank in her chest as she listened to his cold words. Even when she had done something right he always found a way to make it wrong. Quicker, with more skill, more intricate… there could always be an improvement if she did something.

"Well why didn't you help me puddin'?"

Harley covered her mouth with her hands- she was not sure where that bout of confidence had come from. Maybe it was stupidity over confidence…but her hands came crashing over her lips as soon as the sentence left her mouth anyway. Why had she said it?

The Joker turned back to Harley after surveying the room for the final time and as his face found hers he heard her words and the scowl spread further across his face but adding a cocked eyebrow.

"_Excusee mee_ sweetie…. But did you just doubt my method…Tut tut tut Harley girl…**Bad move**…."

Harley flinched and shut her eyes tight as she felt him prowl towards her, pulling a gloved hand from his blazer pocket, which could only mean one thing- he had his knife in hand…

"_Please Mistaa J…Don't…"_

Harley felt the icy touch of the knife as it was placed to her neck firmly. Her lip quivered as she felt it being slowly dragged across her suit and cutting the fabric, slicing into her skin…

"Don't _**what **_Harley…I mean you don't trust me huh?…you don't respect my judgement baby doll…?"

His tone was icy, slicing through Harley's body with every movement of the knife. He nicked at the side of her neck and peeled apart the fabric of her costume…

"Oh kitten…you've got a cut…allow mee…"

Harley's eyes fluttered open as she felt his mouth on her neck sucking at the skin, biting at the already sensitive skin. Unintentionally she grabbed at his clothes and pulled him closer as he bit down- only to find herself being tossed to the window a moment later…

"Now Harley baby…we mustn't touch…Kitten has to earn her right to play"

Joker scrambled to the window to see the car pull up that he had been desperate to see since he'd left the clue to their whereabouts at the last crime whilst Harley was sleeping. He watched as the Bat clambered out of his car and glanced up the building before deciding to go in through the front. 'Good boy Bats…' resounded in Joker's mind as he watched the caped crusader enter the building.

Harley stood with her back to the window, just watching Mistaa J for some sign of any emotion, but there was nothing to be found. His lips flipped into a gruesome smirk as he turned to face the panicking Harley. His gloved hand reached out and touched the exposed skin of her face, stroking across her lips at first then slowly moving down… Over her chin and down her neck till he reached between her breasts…

"_Harley sweetheart…kitten…you've just __**gotta**__ learn to trust me…"_

Harley let out a gasp for air as the wind was taken from her as the Joker shoved her backwards through the glass window. Her body stiffened and she recoiled as she felt herself become weightless, freefalling from the building. Knowing it would be a bad move to let out a scream for help she simply kept quiet and braced herself for the impact that was to come…

However instead of feeling the impact of the pavement, and then nothing at all, Harley found herself wincing as she landed in a net that was being held up by Joker's henchmen. _I should have figured…._ Harley's mind whirred, why would he make it seem as though it was only the two of them? She clambered from the net and watched as he waved in the room- obviously to Batman – then leapt down into the net…

"Ya seeee….Kitten you've got to leeeaaarnn… learn to trust me…"


	6. Downfall in Darkness

**Something small but just angry and dark. Something that is how the Joker thinks. Small bursts.**

Time ticks by on the clock and I watch the numbers blend together, time collapsing in on itself. It's nothing more than a trick of the mind that time means anything. Boundaries that humans create and feel that they need. My hand tenses and the muscles come out of my hand. The muscles contracting under my skin like something pulsating beneath flesh.  
Faith disintegrates as easily as it builds and the more time you take to build it the more you have to watch fall down. I had faith in the world before- I had faith in people. But things stopped being that way long ago.  
Goals fell short and I came realise the world is just as fucked up as it seems. Life will hurt you and you've got to do more than just roll with the punches. You have to cause that chaos and anarchy. Be the cause and the world will come to appreciate you.  
I am more than just a fear in the dark. I can feel it after kills, after savouring the moment of their demise. It's like a sweet intoxication slipping through me.  
Harley denies her fear- you should never deny fear because then it's more likely to creep up on you in the dead of night. When you least expect it that darkness with descend upon you, surround you, engulf you and take away whatever ounce of sanity that you had.  
Nothing will every be the same after it leaves you.  
Harley will learn soon that I will be her destroyer…


	7. Wake MeThis Must Be Some Mistake

**Here we have a final piece for darling Harley /3 [LittlEm]**

Harley leant her head back to the wall as she felt the blood trickle between her fingers and fall onto the floor. Lost for breath and losing everything slowly. Her eye sight blurring and her body aching, on fire as her insides started to break down. Every nerve dying, her systems failing her. Harley had lost control in an argument with J… He had drawn his knife, promising her that it wouldn't hurt.

Too consumed with anger at him for shouting at her again she had charged him down, pursued the man who denied her, abused her, abused her love- until she felt the blade part her flesh and dig into her muscle.

The blood had been fast flowing, almost gushing from the parted flesh and Harley could barely breathe when she looked up at him. He was calm, collected with no sign of faltering- he had really enjoyed doing it, and he didn't regret it.

As she kept her body curled up and against the wall she cried hot tears as she watched him turn from her with no remorse and leave her wounded body. After everything she had done from him, this was her reward. Her payment for being a loyal, loving…

The tears burnt her face as her sobs slowed, becoming silent pleas in the darkness that began to swallow her. Harley didn't want to leave; she didn't want it all to end like this- at the hands of Mr J…

As her body slowed, the organs failed Harley couldn't help but think with her last ounces of life…If she could have changed…Herself, or him... _would she?_


	8. After the fall Ivy

**A little thing from poison ivy's p.o.v. It is known that ivy and harley were close so i thought that i would write a little exerpt after the death of harley. Enjoy. [LittlEm] **

There are some things that always concerned me about my darling Harley. She always doted so on that bloody man of hers. Why on earth did she love him so? What pulled her close to this man whom never loved her. Who used her and tormented her. My poor darling. Harley and Ivy were carved into a tree to show she cared for me and I her. She was like a little sister to me. After meeting her in Arkham and spending time with her I realised how fragile she was, how in need of love she was. Precious little Harley who had been somehow corrupted by a man whose mind was constantly running and plotting and thinking of ways to hurt people.

How could he do this to her, after everything she had done for him, everything that she had put up with?

Her gravestone was small and secluded- hidden away at the back of the cemetery. Harleen Quinzel engraved on it with her birthday, date of death but no quote. Joker had refused to see this stone and I had been put in charge. He never loved her apparently… Didn't want anything to do with her death.  
I'd left one rose on the space of grass in front and it had been replaced recently with a lily. One sweet little lily. He had lied to me- the only person aside myself who knew where this grave was, was Joker. Could he really not bear the thought of having feelings for someone?

Hmm…

Why would he deny her, pretend he didn't care when he did?

"Bane, lets leave… I think I'm done here…"


End file.
